All of Leibniz’s theory of evil is a method to prepare for and to resolve dissonances in a ‘universal harmony.’ A counterexample would be furnished by the damned, whose souls produce a dissonance on a unique note, a breath of vengeance or resentment, a hate of God that goes to infinity; but it is still a form of music, a chord – though diabolical – since the damned draw pleasure from their very pain, and especially make possible the infinite progression of perfect accords in the other souls.

– Deleuze, The Fold: Leibniz and the Baroque

Purpose: for when you require a specific shade of evil, and for when generic undetermined evil is insufficient. Use to describe the varying evils of places, persons, and other objects. If you know something or someone is evil but don’t know exactly how they are evil then this table is for you. Obviously there are millions of evils out there but these are some of the more important groupings.

Roll 2d6, 1d6 for each digit

11. Abyssal. Not a demonic wasteland, more like a black ocean. This evil lives at a very low depth. Draws other evils to its lair, before devouring them with watery darkness. Eel-like in shape, anglerfish in character.

12. Algal. One of the most beautiful evils, but also very unsafe. A thousand bioluminescent needles. A sparkling sea of purple which kills through slow accumulation.

13. Altostratus. This evil takes the form of a featureless sheet of cold. Sometimes fragmented and wavy. Moody in feeling.

14. Amphibian. An evil found in or near fresh waters. Starts at an aquatic larval stage before growing into an adult terrestrial stage. Cold-blooded and includes more specific evils such as frogs, toads, newts, and salamanders.

15. Apian. A graceful and dancing evil, known for its gold color and polyethism. Monarchic in structure. Stings are painful.

16. Arachnid. This evil can climb nearly any surface. Hundreds of eyes which see into unknown spectrums of emotion. The heart is powered by venom. Ties its prey in beautiful silk sheets.

21. Arboreal. This evil grows upwards from roots into a singular trunk before branching outwards. Reproduces through depositing seeds which are blown by the wind or eaten by small animals.

22. Avian. This evil is very beautiful and ancient. It forms large flocks which migrate thousands of miles in search of purpose. When its song is listened to closely, causes surface feelings to be lost in the wind. Has lived long enough to see the death of many other evils it once knew.

23. Bovine. This evil chews for hours each day, feeding on other evils. Has an acute sense of smell. Afraid of novelty.

24. Bureaucratic. This evil answers all questions in riddles. Formed of various layers of epidermis stapled together, it writes the very laws that determine the function of its internal organs. Reads carefully.

25. Ceramic. The kind of evil you would decorate a palace with, born from clay and fire. Shapes the feelings within a room.

26. Cosmic. An ancient evil from the farthest edges of the universe. Believed to be connected in some way to human finitude, this evil employs the use of lesser evils such as floods, storms, and ravens. “Neither being nor nonbeing, but nonbeing’s hunger for being.” All encounters will eventually result in insanity or death.

31. Crustacean. There are some who think this is not an evil, and they are wrong. Horrific segmented appendages protected by an exoskeleton. A smell that is slightly sweet. Hides, then crushes with double articulation.

32. Cumulus. Large and sentimental, it floats and watches from above. Has sharp outlines and base, and is the size of your fist or larger when held up to the sky. Fluffy in appearance. A lesser evil, but often signals worse evils to follow.

33. Divine. A romantic evil, one which is very full of itself. Requires unquestioning obedience. Can be briefly satiated through the sacrifice of innocent objects or valuable persons. Hierarchical in nature. Attached.

34. Fern. A noble evil, brown and golden. with neither seeds nor flowers. Stalks that extend into leafy blades. Creeps into areas where it is not wanted.

35. Floral. A nuanced evil, one with many hidden meanings. Small enough to be held in a hand, but large enough to fill an entire valley. Follows a strict code of conduct. Speaks a secret language communicated by smell.

36. Fungal. A cultivated evil, which grows in humid and warm environments. Immobile, but spreads through spores which travel through air and water. Strange and luminous.

41. Lupine. Once domesticated, this evil is now a wild multiplicity. A mass of fur and bones bent towards destruction. A social evil, which roams in packs of five to eleven members. Defends its territory through scent marking.

42. Mercurial. A silver evil of liquid malevolence. Exposure leads to fatal anxiety. Spreads through whispers and groundwater. Lurks in abandoned mines and alchemical notebooks.

43. Metamorphic. This evil was compressed at a high degree of pressure for millions of years before crystallization. Eventually sediments into smaller evils.

44. Metaphorical. This evil is not itself but is rather the stand-in for something unspeakable. Hundreds of crawling mandibles stapled to an abstract electric body. Feared by other evils.

45. Metaphysical. A derivative evil, born of imperfection. Analogous with shadows and dissonance. “A channel blocked by fallen leaves.”

46. Moth. A nocturnal evil, which flies about seemingly without purpose. While in larval form, will devour clothes and other fabric. Often takes on the appearance of other evils. Attracted to flickering lights.

51. Mollusk. This evil moves extremely slowly but never rests. A slimy mass of extended tentacles. A decentralized nervous system with exceeding intelligence. Devours continents.

52. Pastoral. A lamenting evil, born of shepherds and poetry. The evil of a landscape filled with calm rivers and green hills, soft white fields framed with craggy mountains. Infects all dreams with rustic affect.

53. Perennial. A subtle evil, but very dangerous. Blooms in spring and summer, but hides in winter and fall. High cold tolerance.

54. Primordial. This evil is from a time before a time, an intensity without organs. A cosmic egg defined by only thresholds and vectors. “Distinguished solely by gradients, migrations, zones of proximity.” Unarticulated desire.

55. Protozoan. A free-living evil which lives on or within other evils. Abundant in all types of water, as well as soils and mosses. A mouth can suddenly appear anywhere on its skin.

56. Renaissance. An enlightened evil, known for its love of poetry and and moral philosophy. It subtly detects your feelings before crushing them into a fine edible powder. Smells of wax and parchment.

61. Rhizomic. This evil sends out shoots from its nodes in various directions. If separated, each part may give rise to a new evil. Resists organizational structures and has no evident origin or end. Apprehends multiplicities.

62. Sedimentary. An evil which forms from the deposited remains of other evils. Gritty to the touch, dark colors indicate organic matter. Feeds on repressed warmth. Crystalized malice.

63. Serpentine. This evil strikes when threatened. A hunter, it digs holes and waits to strike. Sheds its skin each season. Desires to be filled.

64. Sulfuric. An elemental evil, used as a precursor to other more complex evils. Contrary to common discourse, its pure form has no smell. Often recovered from hot springs and other volcanic regions. When burned, produces a blue flame.

65. Tectonic. This evil moves at imperceptibly slow speeds before suddenly and violently releasing. Formed from the cracked pieces of an ancient floating shell.

66. Viral. This evil is so small as to almost be imperceptible. Infects its host before subtly altering its structure to serve necromantic ends. Once detected, it is too late to do anything but wait. Death will come soon.